A Halloween Postmark for a BIG ol’ Grant Request

I always thought it was a bloody rabbit come to find out it was a mad puppy

I always thought it was a bloody rabbit come to find out it was a mad puppy

I made it to the post office with two minutes to spare. It was ridiculous. TRULY ridiculous. I think that maybe in a couple of days I will get that feeling of catharsis but I sure as hell didn’t feel it when I handed my grant app over the moody as hell post office worker who was dressed as a witch in a Red spider webbed hat. You would think that a person who wore a frigin plastic witch nose on her face all day would be a little bit more spirited. I felt like shit all stressed from the past two days. I thought, oh good I got the witch at least she’ll be cheery- she was like the woman who worked in the reception room in Beetle juice. You know the blue beauty queen who slit her wrists.

( Little Sabbath with your Beetle Juice?)

So, it’s done. I wrote my grant application. I have one thing to say about the experience, who the hell writes a grant application for 50,000.00 in two days? What stupid person would do something like that? Oh, thaaaaaaats right, I would. This grant application had 5 essay questions plus it wanted 10 pages of my writing. Sure, sure not a big deal if you plan ahead. It probably would have been feasible in the two weeks that I actually had to pull it all together, but no I just couldn’t get my ass in gear and wrote the whole thing in two days. Rewrote and edited the first ten pages of my book, three five page essays, a three page essay and a one page essay. In two days.

I don’t have a printer and I don’t have a car so guess who had fun running around town with the clock ticking trying to get this done? This never would have happened with out the help of my friend. I called her at nine in the morning telling her I needed her help. As I scrambled to finish she read the essays and checked for editing, flow and whether I actually answered the questions. I had this strange desire to actually do a good job. We went to three different places to print the pages out, everywhere we went there was a problem too boring and lame to record but typical. At one point I was ready to just scrap it all but Meaghan wouldn’t let me. She dropped me off at a Kinko’s right before she had to work and I had 30 mins to get it printed then catch a bus and hope to get downtown in time to mail it off today. And I made it. With two whole minutes to spare. I should be frickin ecstatic.

I had read what a lot of women wrote about their experience as they went through their application process. They described it as life changing, that it opens a lot of unknown doors, that they really learned about themselves. For me, I learned that if I ever did have some crazy high-powered job with some nutty deadline, I could probably get it done. And I can write and revise 32 two pages off the cuff. I suppose that’s something. Out of sight out of mind till March.

Hey. I did it. First grant app completed. Check. I think I’ll take a couple of days off before returning to the book, but not too long I don’t want to forget why I started this whole thing in the first place.

Happy Halloween- I didn’t get a chance to find a costume, but I got some wigs maybe I can throw some crap together like making a stew out of what you have left in the kitchen.


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