Distillation Exercise from Workshop 5

Okay one two three…

From the writing exercise: The first line, (Workshop 4) I chose to do a freewrite from Dostoevsky‘s Notes from the Underground, the first line, I’m a sick man… I’m a spiteful man.

Step one the freewrite- Underline what words or images stand out to you in the piece. I just colored my picks in red.

I’m a sick man… I’m a spiteful man, It calls in the night The pain- sharp as pins Hot burning and piercing every inch of my flesh, my skin.

Some say the evil in Humans can manifest Through the body If your soul is twisted It can twist your bones-

My heart is angry, and I will Not retell the source of my pain

Relent – relent – relent – forgive Let go they told me. The angels They cried to me you must Heal your pain, your hate will surface.

I did not believe and my Heart grew darker with rage And I did things, that I Will not say, caused pain within the law- Broke hearts with cruel words Told children I did Not love them, abused women With violent language I took when it was not given And never once did I feel remorse- 

The moor in Titus, after causing such cruelty To so many, once crucified and buried To his neck in the dirt Was asked, Before you die, what do you have to say? And he said, My only regret, my greatest regret is That I could not do more.

I know his anger.

I sat in offices, doctors holding x-rays of my black bones Cancer is everywhere The rheumatoid is in all the marrow. It is twisting me turning my fingers on top of one another Pretzeling my toes. My neck curves.

I am a crooked man my anger revealed

The cancer is knowing And I have chased all the love away– Will there still be redemption for me or will I stand At the chopping block of death As it asks me what I have to say

And what will I say?  What will I say?

Then write out all your words that you pulled from your piece:

Some say the evil in humans can manifest through the body if your soul is twisted/ it can twist your bones/ hate will surface/ abused with violent language/ once crucified and buried/ neck in the dirt/ I could do more/ x-rays of black marrow/ twisting fingers/ pretzeling toes/ neck curves/ I am a crooked man/ my anger revealed/chased away love/will i stand on the chopping block of death/what will I say

Then from your new list, pulled from your freewrite, you see what brilliant work you create!

Truth will set us Free, Love will take us Home.

I am a crooked man, twisted and abused/by the violence of language. my bones/ are black to the marrow by love/ chased away. Evil in humans can/ manifest in form, a twisted soul is like/ toes curled inward, knotted like a/ pretzel, curled like a witch under a/ house, like feet curled before death comes/with the blade, and the chopping block.

Buried to the neck in lies, it curves as/hate rises to the surface./I can do no more, but sit and wait./Anger revealed then washed/away with tears of sorrow then/ crucified by longing and then by love,/love returns to the body/to say, I will stand and wait/Till we can do no more. Till we are straight/ Till we move through the/Air like an arrow/To freedom./To home.

Or Whatever else you come up with, I personally like the sound of:

 buried and abused by the sound of violent language, only the head remains to be crucified again and again.

What does it all mean- hell if I know- its just about moving the words around to create new languages, stories or  whatever. Just remember what happens on the page does not have to be permanent. 

 

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