Pitfalls of Moving Too Often

What a bother. My mail is lost in the world of maildom, most likely gone forever. This is due in part because I put down the wrong zip code for my home address, so well there you go. Also I have moved three times in the past three months so who knows where the mail is now. It is not the end of the world just one of those small nuisances.

Sigh, of course not that I really get much mail, but I feel that some truly important letter was lost forever just because I don’t have a address recorded properly. Dramatic I know.

I got a rejection letter from one of my submissions which I write a bit about here.

Sean Bowie a performer we met while on the road is in town visiting, and hopefully I will be able to see him for a second and say hello. His show Drunken@ucker was great and I’ll elaborate on his show in a later post.

I’m feeling a little frustrated with my life as of late. I feel like I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again and finding myself back at the beginning. I want so badly to ditch everything and just get the hell out of this town and start fresh. I feel limited by myself. I am just not enough, not as big as I want to be. I can’t even picture a future and I feel like my life will be over before I know it, and I will have not accomplished anything. I find everything so confining and restrictive. I remember this story that some people from playwrite told about a kid banging his head against the table over and over again. They had been frightened and shocked. I know I would have had a similar reaction if I had seen that, but at the same time I thought, “God I totally understand, I want to do that too.” I want more; more life more living more experience but I feel trapped. I always feel trapped like I’m stuck just having to settle for what I can get which is hardly surviving, in money or love, and repeating the same patterns over and over again. It’s like I live in the friggen Winchester Mansion, every door leads to a brick wall and all the stairs lead to ceilings. I just want to pack up and move out of this stupid house but the house is my brain and I’m stuck with it. Oh well, some say that when you hit frustration that is a sign that you are getting near to where you need to be. Or maybe I just made that up.


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