One life to the next

My GOD my room is freezing! I just have to mention that because I am in my room typing with gloves and a huge blanket around my shoulder. Anyway…

Playwrite starts today. I have no idea what to expect. I’ll report as I go along.

The Write Around is finished. I had a lot of fun, unfortunately on the last day I only had two youths the rest were staff (5 total). It is just how it goes with that demographic. Regardless the two were very engaged and it was a lot of fun working with them. We created historical fiction along with writing a slice of our own personal history.

The experience had an almost surreal feel for me because the workshops were right across the street from my old job, the one I left a year ago. I would sit outside a tiny coffee shop waiting to go over to the New Avenues and I could see people I used to work with coming to or from lunch. People I had known but didn’t know at all. The class room had these huge windows that looked right toward my old office. That life is so removed from the life I am living (this week). I’d sit with my back to the window forgetting that I had once had any part of the building across the street. Symbolically my old work building loomed four stories over New Avenues’ one story building filled with Street kids hoping to transition and all the people working to try and help them.

You’d think by now with how much things change in my life that I would get used to the idea that nothing stays. Still, it was strange in a way looking at a building that I once walked in and watching people pass in the distance, people who I once talked too but yet it is as if I was never there. I try not to let it bother me; the obtuse reminders that nothing ever stays the same, it is a constant theme. Truly no one’s life remains the same but I feel like many people have that illusion and I envy them that.

I had told my friend, it’s strange because I never know what my life is going to be like from one week to the next and I certainly can’t tell you what I will be doing next month. She had asked me if that was exciting or unsettling. I said a little of both. Then she said that’s how it was for you as a kid too right? I said yes. Than she said, it must be like you are always on edge. I said a little bit.

Looking at the building that held a moment of my past, a recent past that feels like hundreds of years ago, I felt a pang of not belonging. But, once in the classroom with my back to the windows, and my back to the building, I forgot I had ever been there, and in a way I never had. I was exactly where I was at that moment, and there is and was nothing I can do about that. And, where I was at that moment was nice, even if I knew it, like everything else, was going to end. And, like the people I had once worked with in the tall office building, I would never see these kids again, because that is the way it works in this life.

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One thought on “One life to the next

  1. You touched a spot in my heart there. It wasn’t so long ago that I worked for a company that holds a lot of memories for me too. I’ll never go back to it, and I’m glad that I left, but it still hurts to see it.

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