All last week I had gone to the training for Playwrite. There was more information on neuroplasticity which I find to be amazing and inspiring.
I had this weird experience in the playwrite training with one of the standing meditations that we did. We stood with our arms like a bowl or like that of a dancer, with our knees bent, and our eyes closed than we did deep breathing. As we stood there, I had thought about how I felt oddly comfortable. At one point the woman who was leading a portion of the workshop adjusted my body, and I felt this surge of anxiety move up my sternum as if it had been sucked through a straw. I wondered what it was that had set off the sudden anxious feeling when I heard the man next to me beginning to breath quick and panicked. He sounded as if he would start screaming any moment and I had this thought, “I hope I didn’t give that to him. I hope my anxiety didn’t just jump into his body.” Another thing that had happened as I was doing a writing exercise, was that I had a memory recall. This was something simple, but significant to me. I was writing about a memory of an emotional event that took place when I was 13 or 14. It is a story I have written and told many times, but this time I wanted to focus on the fine details. I have memory blocks. In fact there are large portions of my life missing. Thinking about the details tend to exhaust me, which gives me a very good idea of how the kids must feel when doing this stuff. I was going through the memory event, and at a part when I pick up a phone, I asked my self what the phone looked like, and it was at that moment that I remembered I had a Garfield phone. It seems minor but the memory recalls are exactly what much of the writing is about – the other details of our lives the few things that we found important to us individually, a smell, a taste a touch some detail all your own.
I have been pretty bad about writing in general, but today I did manage to get a new poem out and after posting this short post I am crawling back into the pages of my short story which i need to have ready for submission by the end of this month.
In a few days I leave for California to visit my mom.