Thoughts about an Oil spill

A drawing from a photo by Sally Mann

My blog is about being a writer and my struggles to become an established writer but, I feel by not mentioning the oil spill that I am completely ignoring the oiliest elephant in the tiniest room. I wont write another post on this, but like I said, it is impossible for me to ignore, even though I live on the other side of the U.S., and as much as I can pretend it doesn’t affect me, that’s just pretend. So although I post about writing or things I want to do, I feel compelled to acknowledge that I am watching the news and that I am worried. When I look at the photos, and the dimensional coverage of the spill I just see a huge ocean of blood. Blood of soldiers fighting in oil wars, blood of civilians living in the war zones, blood of all the animals, blood of all the livelihoods of the people who live in the gulf area. It feels like everything I want to do in my life, my hopes, and all my dreams of living life the way I want, and living my life as an artist are ridiculous. Ridiculous in comparison to the lives, animal and human, that are and will be destroyed in the wake of this spill. The pain and the panic that the people are feeling, the panic of the animals as they are drowning in the crude, is all too much to take in. I also wonder what impact this will have on the future, and I think, what’s the point, what’s the goddamn point?

Sometimes, I think the kids and the hobos that are sitting on the street pandering for money, the ones that chose to be there for whatever reason, have the right idea; why spend all this effort to be “right” and well-behaved, to live in the house, and have the car, and have the family, and the “dream”, and keep with the status quo when it is all an illusion anyway. It is. There are people with far more money, and far more control than most of us, and all they want is more power and more money, and they want us to want, and to want, and to want, till everything breaks, and then your dreams? They are nothing. You just survive. The damage that this spill will do in the now and the future is so catastrophic that I can not even begin to comprehend what it will be like in the years from now. We already know how important the entire balance of the world is on our oceans, on the need for our coral reefs. We have the most beautiful planet in the solar system, and we just have to cover it with tar. We all have to take responsibility. We did not demand a new source of energy to move our cars and our planes, so now we get to watch that already dwindling energy source pollute our ocean. And for those people living on the coast? We’ll that life is over. Those people already have so little, and have lost so much.

I will never understand us as a race of beings, I really wont, I do not understand this insatiable greed and desire to ruin everything, smash everything to bits. God, doesn’t do this, people do this. This isn’t fire and brimstone so we can just hand the questions over to the Gods and say, “Oh it was preordained”, that is a lazy response to not wanting to help or to take responsibility in this disaster. This is people, not willing to cut back on resources, not willing to fight, and demand better sources of energy, to demand that we find sustainable energy because God knows, we are smart enough to find something, no, we have to take, take till is it dry, and leave this nasty planet to our children, who have no idea how to clean it up. This feels like it’s all too late. The whole thing is incredibly sad, and a heartbreaking shame. This feels like the worst time period to live in, this or the medieval age in Europe. Why does it seem as if people want this planet to die or at least to make it hell for the living? I know some people believe that this is just a place in between heaven and hell, a waiting station, but I wonder if those people really took a look at the planet. Do they not notice how completely amazing the whole thing is? Have they ever stopped to notice how beautiful it is, and to wonder, what if this was it, this was the test, this was the Eden and we were supposed to take care of it?  I wonder if those people ever even breath, I mean really breath.

When I look at the photos of the oil spill I think about those people on the gulf and I think, yes, they are about to be in hell, just like every single person living and fighting in Iraq. A different kind of hell, but Dante wrote there were nine circles. We really should be better than this, we need to hold ourselves to higher standards when it comes to the planet, our home our only true home. Well not everyone, I didn’t. We can’t ignore this, soon every single one of us will be forced to face it in one way or the other.

I really think this is the most beautiful world, and each part that is destroyed is a part I will never see, and I feel like that is a real personal loss. This giant elephant leaves me feeling hopeless and helpless, and I am miles and miles away from the impact. Those people living along the gulf they can smell it coming like a bad dream.


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