Long gone are the days when a writer can take all of their rejections and tape them to a wall or pin them to a curtain. I suppose you can print out your e-mail rejection letter, and then tape it to the wall, but it still misses the action of opening the letter, and having the feel of that letter head paper in your hand. Oh, alas, where are the days of turning your rejection into an artistic expression?
Guess I’ll have to post them here. Although I think it lacks the element of “art”.
I sent out three more query’s recently, just to agents, you know, I’m hoping to get someone to help me to do the hard part. I’ve sent out a mere eight, and have received six rejections so far. I really just want to mass e-mail them all out, so badly. I read every bio and page and website and check out the books they publish, it takes about an hour to send a query out. I know I get a mass rejection e-mail. I’m cool with the mass rejection, but god damn do I want to just mass e-mail my query out in the same manner. You know, bam! 120 agents hit up in one hour! Stick It! I know it doesn’t work that way. Blah. Blah.
Anyway, these are my paltry eight: Snowbooks (publishers), Kristin Nelson at Nelson Literary Agency, LLC, Ethan Ellenberg at Ethan Ellenberg Literary Agency, Barbara Lowenstein at Lowenstein Associates, Katherine Boyle at Veritas Literary Agency, Frances Collin at Frances Collin Literary Agency, Liza Dawson at Liza Dawson Associates, Elizabeth Wales at Wales Literary Agency.
Honestly, I don’t expect any one of these agency to represent me. I kind of feel like everything is just a little to conservative in the publishing world anyway. I want the experience of sending stuff out. I’m good with the rejection part, hence the desire to just mass e-mail everyone, but that would be stupid, I should at least try somewhat.
What’s really a bummer is that it is unlikely I will ever get a scathing rejection letter like people used to get, it’s all pre-written now, but wouldn’t it be awesome to get something like:
“this is the worst piece of writing I’ve ever had to sloth through. You call this literature? I call it toilet paper, in fact, I did use it to wipe my ass and it was such garbage it clogged my toilet.”
That would be rad. And! I would post it here in all its debasing glory. But, again, alas I just get nice polite things like this:
Dear Author:Thank you so much for sending the Nelson Literary Agency your query. We’d like to apologize for the impersonal nature of this standard rejection letter. On average, we receive about 100 email query letters a day and despite that, we do read each and every query letter carefully. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Because this business is so subjective and opinions vary widely, we recommend that you pursue other agents. After all, it just takes one “yes” to find the right match.Good luck with all your publishing endeavors.Sincerely,Kristin NelsonSara MegibowAnita MummNELSON LITERARY AGENCY, LLC