It’s been a rejection week. I do not know how people just let rejection roll off their shoulders and keep on movin’ on. I mean, I’ll keep moving on because what else am I supposed to do, but I feel bad.
I received my first rejection from Graduate school. UCSD said, thank you for your application fee, and your interest but we can’t let you into our program. Oh I know it’s not me, I’m great. Oh so talented. The space is limited. So many people apply. Really good people apply. We didn’t match up.
The truth is you just don’t know. I wasn’t a 4.0, that could have been it. My writing may suck, and that could be it. I didn’t have any connections, that could be the reason. I was so close, but no cigar. Actually, I know that’s not true because if I were close I would have been wait-listed. I was hoping to get a letter. Something I could nervously hold in my hand and anticipate opening. I’d carry it around with me showing the envelope to my friends. “I’m scared to open it,” I’d say. I’d have people around me and either we’d celebrate because I got in or we’d get drunk because I didn’t and they’d be there to commiserate and tell me how great and special I am. Instead, I was checking my e-mail to look back on some notes my friend editor had sent me in regard to my novel. It popped up as if they just sent it.
“Oh no.” I said. My voice was a whimper. I almost didn’t recognize the sound of it. I knew before opening it that they said no. I feel like they’d at least send a letter if you are accepted. It was of course a rejection letter. All cold and electronic with no friends around to commiserate. Just a facebook post and a sad face emoticon. My life is becoming reduced to emoticons and social media.
I’d like to say I thought, “their loss,” and then just went back to my novel, but I didn’t. I shed a couple of tears. Not all out crying, but some tears of disappointment did fall. I also unfortunately thought, “If UCSD doesn’t want me there is no way Brown, or Irvine or Syracuse are going to accept me.” I have to wait another month to find out. UCSD was my second choice, and sometimes as I fantasied about my future in San Diego, and the program and what I would do there and what a great student I would be (I would have been a great student) UCSD would slip into first place.
It sucks to be rejected.
Early in the week I received another e-mail.
Thank you for giving me a chance to consider your work. Unfortunately I don’t believe I’m the right person to represent it effectively.
Publishing is a subjective industry by nature so don’t be discouraged. I wish you the best of luck finding an agent who can represent your work with the enthusiasm it deserves.
Honestly, I think it is a pretty nice rejection. He blames it on himself, not my work, “I’m not the right person to represent it effectively.” It’s not you it’s me. He blames the industry, “subjective” and he encourages me to keep trying, “don’t be discouraged.” Plus he mentions that my work deserves someone’s enthusiasm. All very nice. I will say, as far as my book’s rejection letters go the people have been very kind. I’ve had a few canned responses and no responses, but there have also been some nice responses.
So goes, my week of rejection. And it’s only Wednesday.
I also got rejected by a guy this week too.
Well, I guess I’ll get back to editing my book, cause’ what else am I gonna do?